"Persistent you are old man, very persistent. Very well, I will try to give you a glint of my pain, the torment that seers my soul. In exchange, I will have what I came to this world to get." The dark form within the room took another long pull from the bottle he was holding. After swallowing, he wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve and this time rested the empty bottle on the floor to the right side of the ottoman. "My torment began a long time ago; it feels like eons. Almost farther back than I can actually remember. I was definitely young, very young, maybe naive." The man's voice trailed off softly as the last word passed his lips as if pausing to mentally reflect on ages past. The man never moved. He neither blinked nor fidgeted. He simply sat there pondering the ages of time that had transpired since the last time he had known freedom; since the last time he could walk openly amongst his fellow citizens of the Imperium; since the terror that stalked him did not exist in his mind. To the confessor the silence was almost unbearable. It had been a long year in trying to understand this fellow and to relieve him of his guilt, of his sin. Confessor Roth had made it a personal challenge to discover the source of this man's distress and now he was close, so close to the truth. He had waited for the man to begin again and even with his training in patience and control his calm was deteriorating. He attempted to bring the man back to reality by shifting in his seat. Hoping that the motion might refocus the man's attention to the here and now. He tried sighing, coughing and clearing his throat but nothing seemed to awaken the man from his self inflicted trance. As he gathered the courage needed to interrupt the man's visage by addressing him openly, the man began his story. "Your impatience is deplorable confessor. I am surprised that your masters did not recognize this trait during your training and deny you the status and level you have currently achieved. Fear not old man, I will not divulge this tidbit of information to your elders. I have no stomach for the absolution you preach, nor tolerance for your forgiveness. My past is long and tormented and because of this I have attempted to drown the daemons that haunt my mind with the best intoxicants the universe has had to offer. Therefore it is difficult to recall the beginning as it takes time and effort to remember the truth, almost as difficult as it is to foresee the future." "When I was young, I was a dealer in swift military justice. I was privileged to have my role of bringing the light of the Imperium to the galaxy. The conquests of the Imperium's armies were tremendous. The voice of the Empire rang strong and true as one by one the heretics and blasphemers of the universe were silenced. It was the time of the new Emperor and I helped usher in his rein as benefactor and savior." "For me it was a time of joy and experience. My journey across the stars was part of my destiny; part of my awakening, and mostly part of my wisdom. The light of the Emperor was the driving force to my existence. With his guidance and compassion there was nothing my brethren and I could not accomplish. It was arrogance in our ability to change mankind that ultimately led to my downfall." "In the height of my seasoned youth, I was betrayed. Rebellion was sweeping the empire as Horus began the black crusade to oust the real Emperor. My colleagues had abandoned a number of us on a planet that had a hostile populous and a deadly environment. Each of my brethren were silenced by either the rebellious minions of the planet's chaotic warlord or the carnivorous appetite of the local fauna." "After a week of constant fighting, I was the lone survivor. I had been shot, stabbed, and beaten. I was dragged into the vast jungle terrain and left to die. They placed me at the foot of a huge tree. In the semi-conscious state of my mind, I did not even question the fact that they did not tie me up. There was no need, for as they left the branches of the tree entwined my broken body and held me firmly in place. To my painful surprise the tree was the home of an insect race that soon found its way to me and began the slow and painful process of devouring me alive." "As I reflect back on this event for the first time in over a decade, I realize that the mission was a set-up from the beginning. Each man on the mission was hand picked and, as it turns out, we were the most loyal in spirit to the Emperor. As we landed on the planet to consult with the planet's warlord we lost contact with our orbiting transport. My colleagues had betrayed us and had allied themselves with Horus. They were now en route to do battle with loyal imperial forces." "Do you know what if feels like Confessor, to be betrayed? To be left to die like a common street thug? To be abandoned to your enemy for the mere pleasure of the act? To have thousands and thousands of tiny insects covering your body knowing that it is only time before they gain access to your skin through you clothing?" The man paused after the last question and looked at the confessor. The confessor knew by the long stare on the man's face that he did not want an answer to the questions. As the man tilted his head and drank the last swallow from the bottle of Elgongua the light from the candle brought the man's profile into focus. The harsh shadows outlined a jagged scar on the left side of his temple running from forehead to chin that the Confessor had never noticed before in their yearlong acquaintanceship. He also noticed the pock marked appearance of the skin on the man's face and hand with new understanding. The damage was similar to that caused to a burn victim in a fire. "No fire did this," thought the confessor as the man continued. "Somehow I survived and escaped. The details are not pertinent to the story except to say that it took me ten years to recover from the wounds I had suffered, change my identity on the rebellious planet, and escape back into the stars to find my brethren. However as I did so I found that all was for naught." The man stood slowly and then nimbly walked across the room past the confessor to a small cooking platform. Despite all the garbage strewn about the floor, his movements disturbed none of the clutter that littered the apartment. Reaching down to a small refrigeration device he selected two more bottles of Elgongua and then effortlessly returned again to his seat opposite his guest. All during his acquisition of more fluids he continued to speak. "I made contact with my colleagues after ten years of silence. I communicated to let them know of my failed mission and told them how I had survived the rebellion. They met me in a refining station in the Oberion sector of space to reunite me with the organization. Somehow my appearance as you have now seen left them speechless. When they recovered their tongues they accused me of being a heretic and a minion of chaos. Their accusations were founded and supported by the reports of my brethren's activities during the heresy. I attempted to assure them of the truth and I agreed to consent to contrition." "So they took me back to my home world but instead of treating me as a friend they housed me like a prisoner. I learned the true nature of the heresy, committed by my former brethren, against the Imperium and the Emperor. I learned of the Emperor's torment as he now rules from the Golden Throne. I learned that my brethren were no longer my friends as they tormented me daily with ritual interrogation. During the pain they would inflict on my soul they would assure me that my fate rested in the faith of the Emperor. That my death from confession would be quick and painless if only I would agree to tell the truth of my heresy." The man's voice had become shaky, almost nervous in composure. His tone had increased in volume as his emotions flooded out of his soul like water from a dam. As he continued he almost spoke with madness in his voice, as if trying to convince himself as much as the confessor. "I am no traitor to my Emperor! I love the Imperium as a father loves his son. Over the ages I swore many oaths to protect its citizens from harm. I have fought against countless enemies on countless numbers of planets to instill the love the Emperor provides to his citizens. And now my plight is to be hunted by the men I called friend, by those I thought brothers. To this end, my brethren now chase me. They pursue me across the galaxy and the endless vastness of space and time. I can not allow them to capture me, I can not allow my mission to go unfulfilled." "Obviously I escaped my captors and over the years I have avoided recapture many times. Always they hunt me; always I find a way to escape. It is this cat and mouse game I must endure, it is the hunt that torments me, and it is the pain of alienation I must survive. My sanity holds me in check between freedom and guilt. I am guilty of running from those that once were my brothers, yet alive and free because of my flight." "Honor is my bond, without honor I am nothing. These were the words I spoke to join my brotherhood. I need to show my allegiance, to prove my devotion to the Emperor, to establish that I am not the heretic or traitor they claim. Hence I am here, searching for answers and trying to get the information I seek." "I am a hunted man and I too am a hunter. I seek to bring the Emperor's justice to those of my order who initially betrayed me during the heresy, for they still roam the universe. Your help in this matter is key, for without it, I have no way of proving my innocence. For years I have been traveling the stars only one step ahead of my pursuers, one step behind my pursuits. My time here is short, I know that my enemy is near and my hunters are coming." |
"WHEN TRUST IS VOID" By Mark Henry |
SAGAS OF THE FALLEN ANGELS |
